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[ The grinding of his jaw. Would he have done that? Well, he had considered it, had Vander not fallen in line immediately. The children were useful tools, after all. All four of them. Although he suspected that Jinx would not have thrived, and perhaps... perhaps he would have identified her genius even then.

He deludes himself, of course. Of course he does.

He knows no other way. ]

She picked it, you know. Her name. I did not decree it, but she chose it. Which did she tell you was hers, after all? Was it the other? Or was it her name? You can take issue all you wish. With who she is, or how she was raised, but I could care less what you think of her. Perhaps someday she will understand that your opinion was never worth much.

[ She's his, after all. His daughter. Vander keeps trying, but Silco only had her.

And Vander again digs in. About this supposed ressurection.So you want to convince me. Do you remember it? Or is it, for some reason, that you still have not been given a picture of who you were? She mentioned the doctor.

I wonder if there was anything truly left of you? Or if this is just a delusion you cling to, instead of facing the truth: you are still a dead man. Same as me.

The great equalizer. You'll never be back, will you? Or else Sevika would have told me that.

[ No she wouldn't, but she was too calm, too. ]

[It actually did not surprise Vander that Powder picked it. A part of him blamed himself for not telling Mylo to lay off of her more often, but kids pushing each other around verbally and physically was part of growing up in the undercity. It stiffened one's spine, and he considered that Vi had it handled.

He had been wrong apparently. Too much harm, too much weight of that overwhelming situation that left them all irreversibly changed.]

And how much of that name did you push once she chose it? How much of her identity did you build for her while she was traumatized. She told me about the explosion, and we both know how those kinds of actions dig deep in someone.

[Vander had the memory from Jinx to go from. That beast had eventually recognized them both, passive and protective in their presence. However, it had been non-verbal, and then Sevika... she had been so convinced the beast wasn't him. Jinx convinced it was. Vi wanting to believe.]

Enough of me that Jinx and Vi believe there's hope. Even now, Jinx says they intend to get me out, whatever that means. So, if we will never be back, all we have is here.

[ Silco doesn't see it in the same way. He never had. Was it digging in while she was traumatized? What an accusation. They had both been broken. Broken by abandonment, their mistakes, broken by tempers that flared, and while Silco had never needed a new name — his had too much weight, too much link to the past to ever give it up — Jinx's had been a shackle. Holding her back, keeping her from moving on as she needed to.

No, this was not manipulation, like Vander thinks. Of course he would think that. She'd been giving up him, too.

She thinks there's hope for Vander. Silco disagrees. A fancy, a flight. She'd lost one father, so she clings to the hope of another. That must be what it is. Irrational. ]

If the doctor is involved, he is not so lax. He's a very thorough man.

So enjoy this being your last breath, your last chance at life. No wonder you cling to what little you have so tightly.

[ As if he doesn't do the same? No. No. Not that. His is different. ]

[There is was again, like a sore thumb sticking out of the conversation. With Silco, it was often not what tantrum the other man was throwing but the things unsaid that were the real targets. Lesser people would just assume that there was nothing left to say, but Vander had been in the sphere of Silco's influence for decades so each time Silco didn't address an obvious barb from him, it meant that the older man didn't wish to discuss it.

Vander was picking out each and every one of those topics, filing them away to utilize at another time. They knew each other too well, knowing their tells and willing to weaponize them. He knew it was unhealthy, but if there was one person that could stand toe-to-toe with him, it was Silco. It was not an admittance or respect that he gave lightly anymore.

Case in point.]

Well, you know him best, I suppose. From what I observed, thorough is a word to describe him. I'm glad we had this talk and discovered our similarities again. Just two old guys who have outlived their potential and have passed on to the background of the lives of those closest to us.

[And that's it. Vander closed out the conversation. Unlike most people, he saw no point for the last word. He knew Silco wouldn't stand for it, but he had no reason to come back even when Silco inevitably came back.]

Maybe for you. I don't find things to be as hopeless as you do, clearly. Not that I expected anything different. You enjoy being the one who can say they gave up hope, since it absolves you of guilt, don't you?

[ He doesn't voice it much, but he's alive here. That's something. Maybe there's a way back, or maybe he'll have to work from the shadows, but if Vander thinks that Silco will have given up his shot at influence from here, he's wrong.

Then again, when has Silco ever let go of anything?

But there you go Vander, always, he's seeking the last word. :) ]

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