Inbox (Etraya)

[cantilevers]

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[cantilevers]

Do you honestly believe that I have the strength to stop you if you lose control?

[He didn't have the impression that Kirk could be reasoned with in such a state. It's why he continually volunteered so it didn't reach that point.]

[godsandbats]

It's a spectrum, not a switch. The symptoms get strong over time but if I'm caught early enough, it would be possible to stop me

[cantilevers]

And that's what we were doing on the mission. Here in Etraya this is just for fun, right?

[godsandbats]

Yes. I guess for that, part of it is just needing more practice

[cantilevers]

Agreed. You're doing well, especially when we consider the isolation and hardship of some of the missions that deprive you of your plasma.

[godsandbats]

The off-world missions are the most problematic ones for me.

[Hmm… there should be a better contingency for those]

so much hinges on if there are enough resources on my own to use. I shouldn’t have to rely on just you and Hernan

[cantilevers]

Listen, next we go, let me know and I'll smuggle your plasma into my allotment of stuff. I'd rather see you fed properly than have to stress about it.

[He did wonder if Kirk should have a larger pool of volunteers. How does one even ask for that anyway? Well, just ask he supposed. Everyone had a choice.]

No, that's true. Have you tried gathering a pool of willing people?

[godsandbats]

Okay, but only if you can afford the space. Take care of yourself first.

[It's different when it's Hernan trying to help him out. He's Superman. But Kirk isn't comfortable with Vander sacrificing anything as he's a non-powered human. Vander has his own needs he has to take care of, especially depending on what a mission requires]

No. You were the first and you volunteered yourself. I never asked. I highly doubt there's anyone who would be as willing as you

[cantilevers]

I'm a big guy. My excuse is that I need a bigger pack for my clothes, and then I just fill it out with other supplies. I've been doing that my whole life since I hit my growth spurt.

[Vander was fine sacrificing. He'd done enough sitting back on his haunches for too long; he needed to do something for someone else instead of holding them back.]

It might be worthwhile to float the idea around to people you trust to see if anyone else volunteers. It provides you with more options.

[godsandbats]

Okay. We'll see what the next mission needs.

[Kirk still has his concerns about using up Vander's space but it's as good of an option as any for now]

I don't know if there's anyone I can trust to volunteer for this. Perhaps I should consider improving my formula and make it last longer.

[cantilevers]

Of course. We have a few days to prepare usually, so you and I can touch base before to determine what it is that you will need.

[He wasn't worried. Maybe he should be, but he wasn't.]

I don't blame you. Trust to that level is difficult to find. I know you were nervous with me because you hadn't done it before, but we made it through. If it's just me, I'm fine with that.

[godsandbats]

A large part of the problem is balance. It doesn't take very long for me to be hungry again but I have to avoid taking in a fatal amount. Plus, you or whoever I bite need time to recover in between my meals

[cantilevers]

It's true. It seems like your metabolism still runs at needing 1 meal a day at minimum, and while I have a large blood volume, after about three every other day, I do deal with fatigue. That's fine on a mission where I don't have to be extremely active, and I'll probably get used to it too. Just need more energy rich food, that's all.

[godsandbats]

It's another unfortunate trait I obtained from vampire bats. They can't go for more than two nights without blood.

You'll need to pack the right foods too in that case, if I'm going to keep drinking your blood.

[cantilevers]

That's fairly normal for a person too, Kirk. Seeing people hangry is a thing that exists, it's just that yours is a touch more dramatic because it involves blood.

That's fine. I'm preparing for that, don't worry. I have you covered.

[godsandbats]

Dramatic also because I become more violent.

Spoiling me as always. Even if you don't feel like it is.

[cantilevers]

For some people, that's just a turn on. So it's not reliable when it came to being hungry, trust me.

You always call it spoiling you. It does make me wonder about your friends in the past. Were they crappy to you?

[godsandbats]

It's a long story.

[Short answer: Yes]

[cantilevers]

Sounds like the kind of story that happens over drinks in private. Do you want to talk about it?

[godsandbats]

I'm fine

[Who needs to process grief properly when there's always science to be done???]

[cantilevers]

That's not answering the question. You're fine to talk about it, or you're saying you're fine to avoid talking about it?

[Grief is just background noise, Vander understands. That's how he lives his life right now.]

[godsandbats]

I'm fine with not talking about it. We don't need to.

[In other words, the latter]

[cantilevers]

Do you want to? Would it feel better to confide in someone about it?

[Sorry, you have to deal with a socially intelligent person who picks on nuance, but also isn't keen to share in return.]

[godsandbats]

[Damnit. And meanwhile, Kirk's very academically and technically intelligent but social and emotional intelligence aren't quite as high...]

There isn't a point. What was done back home has long past.

[cantilevers]

It sounds like it's painful for you with the way that you're be evasive. I'm here to listen if it would feel better to confide in someone.

[Sorry Kirk, this seems important and he likes to help.]